It’s no secret I have been struggling. My head just isn’t in the game, yet I am not 100 off track and I continue to go to the gym but gym time has been mostly for stress management. I know you can’t out train a bad diet.
Meanwhile I personally am surrounded by Monday morning quarterbacks. People who have have never lost weight or battled weight management. With the exception of my brother who at the age of 40 decided to take off weight and keeps it off. He is very disciplined and works hard to maintain.
Yesterday I was planning on eating an almond chicken Chinese combo meal I had brought home the night before. Yes I had Chinese the night before too.
Anytime I am eating something my father seems to feel he has the right to say something about it. Yesterday’s comments began with “You know the last time I ate Chinese I gained 4 lbs”. I said nothing. Next came “I am going to have to leave the room.” I inquired, “Why?” He responded that he can’t watch me eat that poison.....and I blew up! It’s not just this comment it’s ever single time I’m eating something he feels I shouldn’t be. Now listen that’s a lot lately but this just is not helping. In fact I feel it’s abusive.
I don’t feel there is a good choice or a bad choice. This journey each and everyone of us are on is a balancing act. Discovering the foods and activities we can live with and incorporate consistently into our lives is key. There are times we are focused and on our game and times when we falter. It’s much more difficult than quitting smoking or quitting anything for that matter after all you don’t quit food.
I haven’t found my balance just yet and that is ok. What’s most important is I am not giving up. So very much of this journey is mental. Simply don’t give up keep striving to find the right balance the formula that works for you.
I am not sure how to cope with these people in my life who feel that these comments are productive. I realize their intent might be good but it’s been damaging to me. I walked out of my home yesterday didn’t eat the Chinese and went and had a pizza instead.
I’m not beating myself up I’m moving forward and not giving up. Today is a new day.
I Can and I Will .... Watch Me