Honesty and Accountability

January 31st 2018 a little over a month has gone by since I have reengage. Here I am doing the right things at least that what I have been telling myself.

Yet every morning I see zero progress - not on the scale or any other place.

I have been frustrated. I am literally at the gym every single day yet I am still 14 pounds up. Which seriously truly did happen in just 3 weeks in December.

I ask myself how can this be? All month the answer I heard back was a LIE. I was lying to myself. Making excuses. I would eat after my workout at 9:00 pm. I have been in full blown denial about exactly how many calories I had been eating and never accounting for.

However day in and day out I was going through the motions to end the day ruining it with a BAG of Skinny popcorn or peanut butter pretzels or something else I didn't need. Not only did I not need these things they truly are standing in the way of my progress. I simply didn't want to admit that these things were the culprit of zero progress especially when I was working out so much.

Meanwhile I was complaining about this to my dad and he pretty much told me how it was and I got mad at him. He said I know why you aren't losing anything you are in and out of the snacks from the moment you get home. HELLO I knew this too, but again just didn't want to face giving it up. I responded hey I am working out so much..... I am starving when I get back that certainly is not the problem, I just don't have my calories down right for how much I am at the gym........

Last Saturday I had the trainer do my measurements figuring hey well maybe the scale is up but clearly I have had improvement because I am still fitting in my clothes. Chest up 2 Inches, Thigh is now larger than when I started (I do think that is muscle however) Everything is up some and no it's not all muscle......

All this effort and time spent and finally I had a REAL conversation with myself. I am a very black and white person. It either is or it isn't and if I am going to put in all this effort; I want results. Working through a plateau is one thing but self sabotaging is something different.

Truth: I was over eating when I got home from the gym. I was over eating when I would grab a large chicken greek salad with no dressing and extra feta after the personal trainer. These small things add up and as a result of those choices I saw little or no progress.

Monday morning I said out loud enough is enough! I needed to take action. If I am starving at 9:00 pm when I come home from the gym then I need to eat before I go and workout and perhaps have a protein shake after workout. After that NOTHING. I need to stay in my calorie range and log everything I eat not just the good things I eat!

Something amazing happened here it is Wednesday and guess what? The scale is DOWN - SHOCKING! I will have a perfect week because I sure like how losing weight feels better than the taste of skinny pop or whatever else I may have been having.

Feeling thankful that I decided to stop lying to myself and take action!