Very challenging week - as I have and still am suffering from a nasty cold. I even stayed home from work on Tuesday. I didn't have the energy to make it.
Meanwhile I joined a Fitbit Work Week hustle challenge and was not up to participating to my full potential. It's the first one I had committed to and there I was in last place the majority of the week. The challenge has finished and as it turns out I came in 2nd to last! I pushed it last night to ensure I didn’t finish last to a person who joined in mid week. I may have ended up in last place even if I wasn't sick. Those people get 20,000 steps in a day and I am pushing it really hard to get 10,000 a day! Something to strive towards.
Then I found myself wanting to self sooth by eating foods that aren't not on my plan while I haven't been feeling well. I even went to the grocery store after work with the intent to buy a frozen pizza something like smart ones. I purchased one with a few other items on my plan and ultimately said no thanks to the 410 calories for something that probably wouldn't be that satisfying. There was a WIN!
Tonight should be a real challenge. I am going to my best friends daughters 12th birthday party and wouldn't you know Pizza is for dinner. I will do my very best to plan ahead and eat before hand so I am not hungry when I arrive. Additionally I will bring my favorite protein bar which is like having a huge candy bar to me. Just in case the temptation starts to win, I would rather eat my protein bar vs that pizza. I hope to be able to report back stating I made good choices vs splurging on the Pizza.
Along with the physical illness this week I was also mentally down. I am still down. I can't seem to really determine where that is coming from and why. I am about a month out from my 47th birthday and I think that ultimately that may be the culprit. I am seeing my age for the first time in the mirror. Fine lines, thinning skin around my eyes, my skin feels overly dry and I just don't see that person I was when I turned 40 anymore. The skin is really bothering me, I went out and purchased new moisturizing products, vitamins too. I don’t like what my neck is looking like after just a little weight loss - I see OLD skin and admittedly I am terrified for what that is going to look like as I continue to lose more weight. I can see already that it’s not going to bounce back as it has in the past.
The lying mirror - We all know the lying mirror. The mirror that when you gaze in you see the thinner you and a younger self. Then someone sends you a picture that they took and you go WHO IS THAT? That is the reason for my profile pic as that picture was one of those. I was standing there on the edge of Lake Michigan, hands on hips - flat out frustrated by a specific situation which was not my weight at that moment, something more personal.
It's that picture and that day that finally spoke to me. "Hey Lisa once again you have reached your maximum capacity, take off those rose colored glasses" it's not like I didn't really know this, after all I was back in my fat clothes. That day I had been hiking in the sand dunes and I felt my weight to. It also occurred to me that day that I should quit smoking. I tackled quitting smoking first, I personally couldn't do both at once and 4 short months after not smoking I started this.
I quit smoking and I am losing weight! Two great things yet I feel down. I should be shouting from the roof tops but I am not. This week I have really been exploring what my goals are, this time around it's about my health and wanting to be able to just do more, be active, enjoy life. I decided that my end goal is "Fit By 50".
In 37 months I want to be saying the following: I am in better condition at 50 then I ever have been.
I won’t win every battle but I will win the war! Cheers to fit by 50 and learning to accept what is.