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Ending Week 21 - 1 lb Loss - 48.3 lbs Total

This week was all about stress and managing it. I walked alot this week trying to do that. One day I worked out with the trainer then walked around until sun down. Between 6:30 pm and 9 pm I got in over 10,000 steps and finished my day at 15,000. Admittedly there were even a couple times this week that the idea of smoking seemed like a good one. I didn't ofcourse but here I am 8 months and 18 days since my quit and it crossed my mind more than once this week. I did not reach out for comfort with food either and stuck to my plan and simply kept walking. When the stress got to much at work I got up from my desk and went for a walk. When family issues got to me I went for a walk. Meanwhile I walked and walked and worked out with the trainer and can only report a 1 lb loss. Lot's of effort just not alot to show for it. I hope I have said goodbye now to the 180's for good. I had hoped to have said goodbye to 50 lbs by now as well but the scale simply doesn't want to move much. Although I have seen some minor losses on the scale I would say I have stalled despite perfect eating and more exercise. I am not discouraged however, I feel good and I am as I have stated before at my happy weight. I am having this awakening as of late and what I find acceptable and unacceptable in my life. Specifically revolving around family and friends. I am tired of being everyone's fix it person. I feel like I am surrounded by a bunch of Vampires who suck every last drop of blood out of me.

Yet I OWN it, I have allowed it and taken it on when it's their weight to carry not mine and I suspect that in the near future there will be changes. Each pound I shed is a reflection of me fixing what is broken within me.

Yesterday I decided that I simply wasn't going to attend a baby shower that my mom put pressure on me to attend with her. It's going to be an 80 degree day here-a perfect boat day. This morning I got up early dropped off a gift at my mothers and said NO thanks. Normally I would have just gone and been annoyed that I was doing something I didn't want to be doing for someone else as always. I haven't seen these people in over 20 years why on earth would I want to attend this? Today I said NO and today NO feels good. Wishing each of you a wonderful week ahead and less weight to carry!

I Can and I Will ....Watch Me

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