I feel as if I am melting - 50 lbs is around the corner. This week I actually wore a pair of my size 12 shorts again.
Today is hair day and I suspect I will change nothing but will feel good all the same. I always talk about changing it but some how come home each time with the exact same thing. My hairdresser will want me to go lighter with the hair color and I usually cave after all warm weather and blonde seems fun. Routinely in the fall I argue with her to return it to dirty blonde or light brown. With each change it takes adjustment.
Change..... I guess I don't like it and I fight it. I am rather comfortable where I am just now. My clothes are all fitting and in fact some are starting to be a little to big. In another 20 lbs I won't have anything to wear and will need to go shopping. I need to do better with change, embrace it rather than fight it.
Stressful week overall, work and personal things. I stayed focused and decided I can only do the best I can do and be "ok" with that. If it doesn't meet someone else's expectations then I wasn't going to worry as I know I did the best I could do. I survived this week and need to continue that line of thinking during the weeks ahead - as of right now the coming weeks look stressful.
I enjoyed the trainer Wednesday we did a high intensity workout and found I breezed through it and got on the treadmill for 30 minutes after where I jogged some in intervals. It was a great way for me to work off the stress I was carrying. Another day this week I got 14,500 steps in which is alot for me, again trying to manage stress.
The boat got delayed and Monday delivery did not happen due to some mechanical issues on a less than a year old boat. Issues they knew about because last year I was towed in so I was frustrated by that last Monday and that is how my week began.
It will be delivered now this coming Monday with hopefully no more issues. As excited as I am about that, I am truly not ready. Upon the return of the boat I need to finally address obtaining my things and I don't know how I want to handle that at all. He will know within a couple days that the boat has returned, he may even see it being put in at the launch. Everyone knows everything around the lake whether you want them to or not.
There is a part of me not ready for this grand finale.
Simply put.... I still don't want to accept the change......
I Can and I Will ....Watch Me