My goal this week was simply not to gain. Happy to report I survived birthday week and even lost.
It has been a bit of a roller coaster ride - Thursday morning after going out with my girlfriend after work on my birthday I actually saw 189.9. I think maybe I was dehydrated that morning. The scale shot back up the following morning .1 higher than where I was on my birthday.
Here is Carol and I at the Bar on my birthday! We had dinner and cocktails (I had 3 wines)
:) I ordered a cheeseburger without the bun, it came with ALOT of tater tots. I asked for a box the moment my food arrived. Cut the hamburger patti in half and I treated myself to 5 or 6 tater tots, the rest went into the box. I ended up throwing it out a couple days later. Honestly I was more enthused about splurging on the wines :) That was the only splurge I had this week and I stayed on target and focused!
Carol just turned 50 and I find her an inspiration and hope I look as beautiful as she is in 3 years.
I met my step goals every day this week but admittedly that was challenging. One night I was walking around my house until 10 pm to hit 10,000. My goal is 6,000 but I really push for 10,000 each day.
I did nothing on the strength training this week...... again I know I need to do this. Especially after the horrid pics I took in March and then again this month. I should have taken one in the beginning but I didn't. Maybe when I cross the finish line I will be brave enough to show the "before" pics.
I think the pic of my back staring into the sea as one of my spark friends described it as motivation enough.
There is a story behind this photo ..... we all have a story right?
I keep wanting to share it but just can't seem to write it, I think I still haven't accepted it or perhaps the story hasn't ended.
I lost a friend. I spent the majority of my time with this person for 3 entire years and there was no fight. We hiked, biked, boated together. This person just changed the terms of our friendship and walked away.
Yet when my spark friend mentioned me replacing my former profile picture it occurred to me that perhaps I am moving forward.
Although I had a beautiful birthday there was a cloud that lingered for me - I guess I had hoped that this person would acknowledge my birthday yet no text or call. Our last communication was in March when I asked once again if we could talk. I received a text: "I am in Florida and won't be back until Spring. I want to give you back your boat stuff. Let's talk in a few months."
Well I scheduled the boat to come out May 15th one month from today. I hope by then I am 10 lbs lighter than I am today. Even more than that I hope by then I have completely let this situation go and that I can tell him to go to hell. Yes that is anger I did so much for this person and I feel stabbed, used and betrayed.
I hope I find the strength to tell him when he finally wants to return my things to simply say "Hey can you just drop my Paddleboard, Firepit for the pontoon and whatever other personal possessions you have of mine at the boat during the day? There is no reason to meet in person any longer."
Meanwhile I did something else this week that was reflective of "Moving Forward". This person when we first meet had given me a bike. When we first met we used to take daily bike rides and talk about our days. I looked forward to those rides and the conversation. I recall sending him a card thanking him for teaching me to ride a bike again. He did give the bike to me but he is storing the bike too and frankly I am to proud to ask for it.
In a continued effort to focus on my health I bought myself a new bike this week and scheduled two personal training sessions.
Out with the OLD and in with the New!
As I work to improve my physical health, I am still working on resolving this situation. Sometimes you don't get WHY or closure. One thing I know for sure is that this was not a result of something I did but more or less his issue. I just wish I hadn't been so invested because it's been painful. Unfortunately I will bump into this person whether I like it or not. The lake simply isn't large enough.
I am committed to moving forward..... headed for a bike ride!
As always.... I Can and I Will.....Watch Me!